As I mentioned, we've entered a stretch of rare blogging for me as I work this summer at Ocean City. So keep in mind that I've pointed you to an almost endless supply of entertainment from my old writings.
But now I've found a brief window of free time, and I'd like to use it to have a one-sided argument with myself about whether or not the beach is a good place.
Point/Counterpoint
Jon: The beach is pretty lame. My first reason is that most beaches feature unbearable 95 degree weather and a relentlessly beating sun.
Imaginary but Typical Person Who Loves the Beach: Aww, I love hot weather!
Jon: In that weather, you are constantly sweating and need to take, like, 3 showers per day. That's 2 more than my daily limit.
IbTPWLtB: Okay, point granted. Seventy degree weather is better. But now I give my first point in favor of beachdom -- swimming in the ocean.
Jon: Yeah, when I was 8. Have you actually been in the ocean lately? There's really not much going on except the fear of jellyfish, sharks, and other people's urine. And when you get out, there's sand in places you didn't even know you had and, yep, time for another shower.
IbTPWLtB: Yeah, I guess I haven't actually been in the ocean with any enjoyment for a few years...
Jon: My next point is that, unless you've got a group of people playing volleyball or something, sitting on the actual beach is boooooriiiiing. If I want to sleep, I'll do it in a bed. If I want to read a book, I'll probably do that in a bed too. Anywhere but in the sweltering heat of the beach.
IbTPWLtB: But it's so relaxing to lie there!
Jon: It's relaxing to lie anywhere.
IbTPWLtB: Harumph (sound of defeat)! Well, I like collecting seashells.
Jon: Point granted. Another thing I hate is that the sand feels like it's particles, not of quartz and limestone, but liquid-hot magma. If you take one step without sandals, you better hope you're packing Desitin (which, luckily, I always am).
IbTPWLtB: Yeah, that does hurt. Ok, here's one-- the view of the sunrise or sunset out over the ocean.
Jon: Agreed, but you don't have to be on the actual beach to see that. You could be anywhere in the vicinity of the coastline. Or you could look at a nice photograph (jk, sort of).
Conclusions
For those of you who weren't keeping score:
Pro-beach:
Collecting seashells
The view of the ocean, specifically at sunrise/sunset
Anti-beach:
Sand that is 451°F
Oceanic predators/pee
Relaxation - the beach's main selling point - being found in any comfortable bed
The merciless sun (and related sunburn) at the beach
A layer of sand all over your body
And so, we can all agree that the beach is lame, or at the very least, overrated.
Post script
In many get-to-know-you games, like Hot Seat, a popular question is "Beach or mountains?" As I reflect on that question now, my answer is "neither." Isn't that sad? I don't like either of the two most popular geographical features for vacationing. Whatever. I can vacation to cities.
Feel free to counter-counterpoint
What do you think about the beach?
Jon
Aww, I love the beach! :)
ReplyDelete{No, but really. I do. For reals.}
The beach is great! Laying out tanning and then walking along the shoreline to cool off enjoying the casual atmosphere is the best. Granted, good company and a good boardwalk are also musts.
ReplyDeleteNot surprisingly, I too dislike both the beach and mountains. By the age of 10, I had decided that the downsides of going to the beach far outweighed any of the trivial upsides. From that point on I lobbied my family to start vacationing in cities with baseball stadiums.
ReplyDeleteAlso, being extremely white means that I do not tan at the beach, I just get sunburn within 30 minutes of being in the sun.
the picture you posted above is hands-down the best thing the beach offers: a beautiful photo to look at. All of your points are great, and I'll add two: the water, if in July and August, isn't even cool! You're burning up from the sun and heat and think you'll get relief from the ocean, but no, it's just as hot. Also, it's often windy at the beach (or maybe just the last time I was there) so while you're trying to read a book, tan, etc. there is sand blowing into your eyes, sticking to your body, and getting all over your stuff. ugh. mountains all the way.
ReplyDeleteJon, for this issue we are polar opposites. I love the beach and the mountains, but I'll comment about the beach because it's more so of the topic in question. We just got back from going to the beach and the water was too cold to get in (about 40°F). This ruined my water fun. I do really enjoy getting in the ocean and swimming in whatever is in there. You only live once... There also wasn't a boardwalk or a large amount of stuff to do. So there was a few times that I was thinking, Why did we drive all this way to just swim/ sit around a pool? We could have met my family somewhere more centrally located and had just as much fun. But what about sand Castles? They are so much fun to make and the strong wind is easily my favorite thing about the beach. Where else am I going to fly my super-awesome stunt kit? (Trees and power lines ruin most places to do it) OHH! and what about salt-water taffy, fudge, and for OCMD specifically, Fisher's Carmel Popcorn!?!? Jon would you mind bringing some back for me? I'll be sure to remind you.
ReplyDeleteI'll go ahead and make a stereotypical comment about how all West Virginians (except Jon, apparently) looooove to go to the beach. And not just any beach, but a particular beach in the northeastern part of SC. We all know which one.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. Great points above, Jon, and I agree wholeheartedly as long as we're talking about the ocean. As in, some place with salty, gross water with giant man-eating fish swimming around and tons of sharp or violently hot things.
No, for me if I'm headed to the seaboard, I'm there for the "coast" rather than the beach. I enjoy the breeze, the sights and sounds, and the atmosphere...all of which I can enjoy with a cool beverage of the most refreshing nature (which by the way aren't allowed on beaches) from a veranda several hundred yards away from the blistering sand and crabs and sharks.
Alternately, and this is my preferred locale if we're talking something about water, consider the Great Lakes. Ooh baby! Lake Huron, for example, has everything awesome about the ocean - great sights, cool breezes, lots of sunlight, great atmosphere, nearby golf courses, clear and cool water - without any of the crappy stuff - magmasand, sharks, crabs, intolerable heat, tepid and dirty and un-refreshing water, and jellyfish.
But it's a close tie between the "North Coast" and mountains. Depends on the time of year, probably.