As I mentioned, we've entered a stretch of rare blogging for me as I work this summer at Ocean City. So keep in mind that I've pointed you to an almost endless supply of entertainment from my old writings.
But now I've found a brief window of free time, and I'd like to use it to have a one-sided argument with myself about whether or not the beach is a good place.
Point/Counterpoint
Jon: The beach is pretty lame. My first reason is that most beaches feature unbearable 95 degree weather and a relentlessly beating sun.
Imaginary but Typical Person Who Loves the Beach: Aww, I love hot weather!
Jon: In that weather, you are constantly sweating and need to take, like, 3 showers per day. That's 2 more than my daily limit.
IbTPWLtB: Okay, point granted. Seventy degree weather is better. But now I give my first point in favor of beachdom -- swimming in the ocean.
Jon: Yeah, when I was 8. Have you actually been in the ocean lately? There's really not much going on except the fear of jellyfish, sharks, and other people's urine. And when you get out, there's sand in places you didn't even know you had and, yep, time for another shower.
IbTPWLtB: Yeah, I guess I haven't actually been in the ocean with any enjoyment for a few years...
Jon: My next point is that, unless you've got a group of people playing volleyball or something, sitting on the actual beach is boooooriiiiing. If I want to sleep, I'll do it in a bed. If I want to read a book, I'll probably do that in a bed too. Anywhere but in the sweltering heat of the beach.
IbTPWLtB: But it's so relaxing to lie there!
Jon: It's relaxing to lie anywhere.
IbTPWLtB: Harumph (sound of defeat)! Well, I like collecting seashells.
Jon: Point granted. Another thing I hate is that the sand feels like it's particles, not of quartz and limestone, but liquid-hot magma. If you take one step without sandals, you better hope you're packing Desitin (which, luckily, I always am).
IbTPWLtB: Yeah, that does hurt. Ok, here's one-- the view of the sunrise or sunset out over the ocean.
Jon: Agreed, but you don't have to be on the actual beach to see that. You could be anywhere in the vicinity of the coastline. Or you could look at a nice photograph (jk, sort of).
Conclusions
For those of you who weren't keeping score:
Pro-beach:
Collecting seashells
The view of the ocean, specifically at sunrise/sunset
Anti-beach:
Sand that is 451°F
Oceanic predators/pee
Relaxation - the beach's main selling point - being found in any comfortable bed
The merciless sun (and related sunburn) at the beach
A layer of sand all over your body
And so, we can all agree that the beach is lame, or at the very least, overrated.
Post script
In many get-to-know-you games, like Hot Seat, a popular question is "Beach or mountains?" As I reflect on that question now, my answer is "neither." Isn't that sad? I don't like either of the two most popular geographical features for vacationing. Whatever. I can vacation to cities.
Feel free to counter-counterpoint
What do you think about the beach?
Jon
