A Pittsburgh Fast-Food Music Phenomenon

Friends,

At this point, I'm out of excuses for my long delays in blogging. All I can say is that if you want me to blog more often, please badger me when I'm delaying. And, if possible, bombard me with awesome blog topic ideas.

Today's post, though, has been a long time coming...

I spend a lot of time in restaurants and coffee shops. This is because I work from home a lot, and I've found that I'm a lot more productive "in a restaurant or coffee shop" than I am "from home". Places like this, to provide customers with a nice atmosphere, typically play music. And because these establishments want to attract rather than repel patrons, that music is usually in a commercial-free loop rather than a DJ/commercial radio station.

Since these patrons will be of all ages, the loop of music is typically 'multi-generational', spanning the decades. Yet it stays in the 'safe' genre of pop rock, eschewing polarizing niche genres like country and rap. Finally, because the paying patrons aren't young, the decades covered are usually the 70s and 80s, with a little 90s thrown in.

Which musical artists stand to gain most from this convergence of factors? Who was prolific in the pop genre from 1970 to 1995? Many names might come to mind: The Eagles, Elton John, Michael Jackson, etc. However, probably unbeknownst to you, one artist cranked out more playable tunes in that span than any other. And thus, that artist is played in eating establishments all over Pittsburgh on a daily basis.

In case you didn't peek below, or have an attention span of like 0.3 seconds and have already forgotten, that artist is Billy Joel.


The Billy Joel Theorem
I'm not kidding. This is a theorem.

You might be in disbelief. Billy Joel? To you, Joel might just be a former celebrity who drunkenly drives his car into houses. You might not be able to think of any of his songs. But trust me (I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night), he is the most played artist in public pop music loops.

In fact, I've postulated a pretty controversial theorem about just how often he's played:

The Billy Joel Theorem
If you spend any length of time in a Pittsburgh-area establishment that plays a loop of multi-generational pop music, you will hear a Billy Joel song.

You might be thinking, "What about if I just step inside the door of the establishment, then 1 second later I leave?" I theorize that you will be treated to 1 second of a Billy Joel tune.

No, obviously the theorem is false in its bold version above. But I maintain that Joel is the most frequently played artist in these loops. In case you're unfamiliar with his body of work, here are the songs (and their albums) I hear most often in restaurants (though they're not necessarily his best):

Piano Man (1973)
"Piano Man"

The Stranger (1977)
"Only the Good Die Young"
"Get it Right the First Time"

52nd Street (1978)
"Big Shot"
"My Life"

Glass Houses (1980)
"You May Be Right"
"It's Still Rock 'n Roll to Me"

An Innocent Man (1983)
"The Longest Time" (though I may prefer this version)
"Tell Her About It" (man, some of these videos are... interesting)

Storm Front (1989)
"We Didn't Start the Fire" (I'm pretty sure Ryan started it)

River of Dreams (1993)
"The River of Dreams"

[Other songs I occasionally hear include "Captain Jack", "She's Got a Way", "The Entertainer", "Movin' Out", "Just the Way You Are", "Allentown", "Uptown Girl", "I Go to Extremes", and "Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)".]

I know this is pretty sad as far as theorems go. But don't worry! In the spirit of facts and data and science, I will now begin logging all the songs I hear in these settings. I will identify the most played artists and songs. And (as soon as Billy Joel hits the top of the list I'm recording) I'll report back to you, TS(s) readers, and we will settle this hotly debated issue once and for all.


We're all in the mood for a melody...
or, at the very least, I'm in the mood for a bunch of blog comments

Are you a Billy Joel fan?
Which artist do YOU seem to always hear when you're in public?

Jon