Most words in our beloved language have but one pronunciation. Most words are simple and straightforward enough-- solid, sturdy words like "solid" and "sturdy". But a few words have gone rogue and, whether from British/American differences or miscellaneous pretension-baggery, feature an alternate pronunciation. I'm not concerned with words that have 2 (more or less) equal options, like caramel or garage. What really grinds my gears are words with one normal, accepted, perfect pronunciation and one that is steeped in pretense, condescension, and superiority... and, more specifically, the people who choose the latter.
As with any human endeavor, I enter this one with some level of hypocrisy. When faced with a choice between a common word whose meaning I know and a rarer one whose meaning is only partially clear to me, I sometimes go with the schmancy one. But I feel that my pretension is a little more justifiable-- I'm trying to expand my (and my listeners') vocabulary horizons. The person who chooses an alternate pronunciation, though, broadens only my frown.
Pretentious Pocket Dictionary
That's not to say anyone's pocket is foppish
foyer [foi-EY]
noun
- an entrance hall, especially one in which superior activities take place: Pray join me in the foi-EY for some scones and literary criticism.
mature [ma-TORE]
adjective
- exhibiting more development, especially intellectually, than others: Don't I sound more ma-TORE than you?
schedule [SHEJ-oo-uhl]
noun
- a series of things, especially intellectually superior ones, to be done: Sorry, my SHEJ-oo-uhl is full of things like monocle-wearing.
the (x+1)th century [instead of "the x hundreds"]
phrase
- the years x-hundred to x-hundred-and-99, especially the superior events from those years: During the... (pause to convert "1200s" to a century)... 13th century... (pause for listener to convert "13th century" to hundreds)... there was a dramatic rise in the eating of crumpets.
Okay, it's a short dictionary
At least it will fit in your ornate pocket
What other words belong in the PPD?
What pronunciation really grinds your gears?
Jon
Jon. Not pretentious to say (x+1)th century. It is so so common. ALSO, I definitely say foi-EY. That's just how it's pronounced. K thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteKendra, I'm with you on the (x+1)th century, but saying foi-EY is just ridiculous.
DeleteKendra,
DeleteI disagree with you so strongly on the century decision. But, to be fair, I didn't take the time to explain it in the post above. I'll try now.
Before you reach fluency in another language, you have to think first in your first language, mentally translate to the second language, and then finally speak in the second language. The same goes when listening-- you mentally translate to your language, then understand the message.
The same happens with centuries, and it reveals what our "native language" of dates is. When you hear, "In the early 17th century", I KNOW you have to think to yourself, "Ok, so that's the early 1600s." You might even think, specifically, of the years 1600-1649. At any rate, this is also true when you speak. If an event occurred from 1605-1621, you will think of THAT before you ever say/write "seventeenth century".
Since everyone naturally thinks in dates, and the first digit(s) of those dates, why in the world do we add a layer of translation by referring to centuries?? Pretension. It's the only reason.
I enjoy pronouncing "encyclopedia" as "encyclopaedia" like Ted on HIMYM. That's all I have to contribute at the moment haha.
ReplyDeleteGreat example. Not often heard (outside HIMYM) but soooo pretentious.
Deletehow about when people don't follow any rules and just make up new pronunciations for letters that already have an assigned sound.
ReplyDeleteie: ~jalapeno- this is english people, its a "j" not an "h"
~xylophone - its like people don't even see the "xy" if it's creator wanted it with a "z" he would have been named it a "zylophone"
~encore - oncore? en, simple enough, hen, den, then, ben, send, defend, mend, shall i go on? at least in "enough" use a real variation of the vowel pronunciation
there are more but i'll leave it at that.
To be fair though Jonathan, encore IS a French word. And naturally pronounced that way in that language...
DeleteThat's it. I am hereby declaring (pretention intended) that your blog is the funniest.
ReplyDeleteProfessor in college referred to "theater" as "thee-a-ter" instead of "thee-uh-ter". Oh how annoying and pretentious that was.
ReplyDeletevase: vace vs. voz. i will break your voz, punk. say it correctly.
ReplyDeleteI do pronounce the word "foyer" as foi EY, but not because I want to be pretentious. I went to a church that always pronounced it that way, so I thought that was how it was pronounced. I guess you're wrong in that there is only one reason to pronounce a word differently. I'm not sure I can change how I pronounce foyer this late in life.
ReplyDeleteA kind of off topic comment- I learned recently that a lot of people outside of Pittsburgh say "Carnegie" CAR-ne-gie. I'm going to be a little pretentious from now on and make sure people know it's car-NAY-gie.
Yeah there are obviously other reasons to pronounce things differently-- ignorance, poor eyesight, lisp, regional dialects, being French, etc. When I make an absolute remark on this blog, I NEVER actually mean it. Including that one...
DeleteHaha yeah the Carnegie pronunciation thing is pretty awesome.
"PEEN-a-lized" instead of "Penalized".. "auto-MO-bile" .. also, I've noticed Pittsburghers say "Mum" instead of "Mom".. can't tell if pretentious or yinzer.. #confused
ReplyDeletebrits and aussies pronounce it "mum", making it pretentious by default. buuut, i'm not sure anyone anywhere would call the yinzer dialect pretentious. maybe pittsburghers are exempt from pretension?
DeleteI can't think of any further contributions for pretentious pronunciations, but sort of related are pretentious spellings. I know one person in particular that insists on spelling things like colour, theatre, centre, etc. Stop pretending to be british, you live in Pittsburgh.
ReplyDeletethis made me think of you: http://www.primermagazine.com/2008/learn/10-words-you-mispronounce-that-make-people-think-youre-an-idiot
ReplyDelete