Travel Days -- flying edition

Most people love to travel.  I think this has to do partly with some objective awesomeness to seeing new places and cultures and partly with how it's hip and cool to love travel -- not to mention that we get to tell interesting (and often hilarious) stories from our ventures away from home.

But what I often forget as I'm embellishing an embarrassing tale of my visit to an East Asian massage parlor or a comical disaster story about a Guatemalan landslide is that bookending any amazing travel experience are 2 awful days of excrutiating travel.

I don't think I realized until... well, now... how much I dislike the actual travel required for any trip.  So I thought I would walk you through my typical travel day experience and see how much you agree or disagree.  Because air travel and road-tripping each has its own unique perils, I'll tackle them one blog post at a time.

My typical air travel day

4:45 a.m.: Wake up
And if you know me, this isn't pretty.

7:20 a.m.: Realize I forgot to pack an important item
E.g. body wash

8:45 a.m.: Layover meal dilemma --> "brunch"
I realize I ate breakfast at 5 a.m.  I'm now ravenously hungry.  I eat another meal, and I accept the fact that I'll be eating at least 6 meals today.

9:30 a.m.: Pray there will be empty seats on this flight
Because either I or the 250-lb. dude next to me needs to move.

9:50 a.m.: Accept that God has answered my prayer
...with a resounding "No."

9:52 a.m.: Try not to be embarrassed about what I'm reading
It's usually a sci-fi or fantasy novel.

10:40 a.m.: Realize that I forgot to pack another important item
E.g. swimming trunks

11:00 a.m.: Curb my returning hunger with airplane food
Either a "snack" of stale pretzels or a "meal" of frozen fish head.

11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.: The "second layover blur"
My mind now checks out for the day.  I will later look back and have no memory of the boring, tedious, frustrating sequence of events. 

2:30 p.m.: Arrive
Unfortunately, both my luggage and my brain were accidentally put on the wrong plane.  So I stumble around like an angry zombie, waiting for someone to give me my suitcase and, in turn, a sound mind.

The rest of the day is spent trying (unsuccessfully) to sleep and missing my luggage.  I try to find solace in strange places, like in the thought, "Well hey, even if I had my luggage, I'd still be missing my body wash and swimming trunks."  Comforting thought.


What about you?

Does travel wreck you like it wrecks me?

What funny things have happened to you in airports or airplanes?

Jon

Nothing updates you on my summer like rap music

I'm on yet another trip for work, which means little to no time for blogging.  My goal is to be back in a Tangent Space(s) groove by the first or second week of August.  Thanks to those of you have been reading and commenting on my sporadic June and July posts.

Because I can't give you a real post now, I'm giving you this (imaginary one?) instead.  On my last trip, I had the great pleasure and opportunity to lead 4 guys in Bible study and discipleship.  When it was time for me to leave, they did something special to say goodbye.  I probably don't even have to tell you what it was -- obviously, given my personality and interests, they wrote and perfomed a rap song.

Because it's tough to hear the words in this video, I included them below.  If you like rap or like me, or even if somehow find yourself on this blog while liking neither, I think you'll enjoy this ridiculous and hilarious tribute (in case the video doesn't embed properly, you can find it here on youtube):

"Who is Jon Mathieu?"

Written by Mike and Marcus

Performed by Mike, Marcus, Chris, and Ben

What kind of things can I say about Jon?
The kind of dude you can bring home to mom
Role model with faith so strong
So that's why I had to put him in this song

When I met him I learned how a Christian outta be
Discovering truth and theology

Even though I never used to take him seriously
(A flash hat and a shirt with TMNT)

The smart dude taught me how to do ministry
With more life than a 5 hour energy
Explore, guide, build, mentor faithfully
The love of Christ exploding - TNT

He taught me when Christ comes first we won't curse,

we'll only converse, preach each verse,

Satisfied - no thirst,

KGP - no good works,

love like Christ loved the church

Jon Mathieu is more than a beard

And we all know that he is a little weird
Jon Mathieu is more than a Pirates fan

Oh yes, Oh yes
He's a man

Then later on he helped me cast vision
So I could get the heart incision
And faithfully go out fishin', and envision the Great Commission

The thing about Jon is he's very pragmatic,

He loves mathematics and quadratics
He never fell off like Paul in Demascus
He's got a great understanding of what's tragic

It's been great hearing everything, every laugh
And learning spiritual multiplying math
"The Awesome" was cold, but his heart surpassed
Discipleship goals, forever will they last

You're more enjoyable than The Hangover
You put your life in God's hand- Poker
You helped us out on this ride- Chauffer
God'll bless you a million times over
He'll give your guidance on life's roller coaster
You'll burn for him and glorify him --toaster
Spreading good news like Al Roker
Keep praying, Stay Blessed

Jon Mathieu is more than a cute smile
And we all want him to stay a while (longer)
Jon Mathieu is more than a farmer's tan
Oh yes, Oh yes

He's a man

And we will miss him
But we know it's not the end
But it won't be the same again

Just like the waves
My heart breaks to leave his face
He has taught me just how to see
The light inside of me
Jon is a friend

Thanks so much to the four awesome guys who performed that for me.  I hope you've all enjoyed the experience too!

Jon

(Re)arranging marriage

Friends,

The summer blogging hiatus has sadly continued.  I think in a couple weeks I'll be in a normal schedule and regular tangents will resume.  But for now, I bring you a topic so outdated, so laughable, that I'm hoping it can generate some interesting conversation.

Yeah, I'm talking about arranged marriages

A friend of mine recently mused about something that has made me think a lot about ye olde arranged marriage.  He works for the same company that I do and, as a guy who's been married for about 20 years, has the ability to muse about such things aloud.  He said:

"If they had a marriage-arranging service at [the upcoming conference for the 5,000 employees who work for our missionary organization in the US], I wonder how many people would seriously consider it."

To my surprise, he got a far-off look in his eyes that indicated he actually was wondering about it.  He was making the unthinkable suggestion that not 1 or 2, but many of these missionaries would sign up for some sort of arranged marriage.  Taking ideas seriously is somewhat contagious, I think, because I started thinking... why is that so crazy?


Arranged marriage vs. American marriage

Another married friend of mine was on hand for that comment, and the reason he offered for the old system's success is that parents know their 18-year-olds better than the 18-year-olds know themselves.  It's an interesting thought, and I'm not sure what I make of it.  But it's not the argument I would make.

My main positive thought about arranged marriages is how the basis of the union is so much more unselfish than the basis of typical modern marriages.  When your marriage is arranged, your motivation for stepping into that commitment has to be family.  So, you sacrifice and you compromise and you do what you can to make it work.

But nowadays when we date and look for our soulmates (or whatever it is people do), what's our motivation?  As I look around at the people I know  (95% of whom are married or engaged) -- and when I look at myself in my own forays into romance -- I see people who are trying to be happy.  This seems normal and human, but think about entering a relationship with your own happiness as the ultimate goal!

Does this person's appearance please me?
Does this person's sense of humor make me laugh?
Does spending time with this person make me happy?
Et cetera.

Because this is the goal of dating and these questions are the criteria for success, it's no surprise what happens in half of American marriages.  When I don't feel happy anymore, the marriage is over.

Conclusion: if anything can be said for arranged marriages (and I'm not sure anything can), it's that the system naturally places commitment and family as the foundation of the relationship, whereas the default cultural foundation is one's own happiness.


Let the sparks fly. Or at the very least, someone please comment

Let me end by saying that I'm not actually pushing for a resurgence of arranged marriages.  I just wanted to provoke thought and conversation.

Thoughts?
Questions?
Stories?
Et cetera.

Jon

July 2011 Grammar Tip

Friends,
It's a new month.  After just 6 days, July 2011 is already replete with grammatical errors.  Everywhere you turn, there's a misused apostrophe or a dangling modifier.  But, as with most nationwide endemic problems, we can't win the war in a day.  And so, at the clip of one tip per month, Tangent Space(s) continues to do its part...

Using the correct pronoun

Few ideas seem as polarizing as "political correctness."  I won't go into that now.  I only bring it up because political correctness is in some sense the reason we use an incorrect pronoun when a subject's gender is unknown.

I'll give an example sentence, and take you on a historical journey of how people of different eras might have chosen their pronouns:

I think a person should try to befriend [possessive pronoun] neighbors.

1. The good old days: he/him/his

(I don't actually know if these days were good, but they're somewhat old.)  It was once universally accepted to use the masculine in the case of an unknown gender, so that whether a sentence was about an athlete, doctor, homeless person, or convicted felon, we just went with the masculine pronoun and made a mental note that we didn't really know the sex of the person.

The above sentence, then, would suggest that a person should befriend his neighbors.

2. The unwieldy alternative: he or she / him or her / his or her

With the advent of widespread political correctness, this new bulky option became the norm.  The obvious drawback is that it's triple the word count.  This isn't terrible when you need to use it once, but if you have 4 or 5 unknown-gender situations in a row in speech or writing, these added words are agonizingly cumbersome.

Back to neighbors: a person should befriend his or her neighbors.

3. The current answer to the bulky "his or her": mixing up "her" and "his"

In modern books, authors refuse to pay the price of repeated "his or her"s.  So the current trend is to get a good mix of the sexes in the pronouns.  Usually a male author will use "her" the first couple times -- just to ensure, presumably, that he's not sexist -- then go to an alternating system of "his" and "her".

Ex. A person should try to befriend her neighbors... A doctor must cultivate healthy relationships with her nurses... A politician must listen closely to his constituents... her... his... her... his...

4. The grating, terribly incorrect solution in speech: they/them/their

And this, English-speaking friends, is why I wrote this grammar tip.  In casual speech, people will handle the unknown-gender problem by using a plural pronoun, since plurals aren't gender-specific.  Unfortunately for the many people who do this, it sounds (to at least a few of us) like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Returning to the example of Mr. Rogers... A person should try to befriend their neighbors.

Do you see how catastrophic that is?!?  "Person" is singular.  "Their" is plural.  "I" am irate.


I leave you with no hope

Just kidding.  There's always hope.  But in this dilemma, I don't know what to tell you.  Here goes:  When speaking, just say "his or her", or pick a winner.  When writing something serious, go with option 3 above.  When writing on Tangent Space(s) or an equivalently silly project, go with shis every time.

Thoughts?  Questions?  Ideas for future grammar tips?

Jon