A Soda Fountain Adventure

Friends,

Some of you, no doubt, read S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders sometime around middle school. It was part of the curriculum in my county, so I found myself reading it aloud in class many times, my pubescent voice cracking at every change of inflection. I wonder what my classmates thought when I was called on to read; I was a good reader, but man, those voice cracks.

But today's topic is too grand for me to get bogged down in memories of 1997 and my changing body. The reason I bring up Hinton's coming-of-age novel is that it prominently features Robert Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay," especially its titular final line:

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day. 

Nothing gold can stay.

I'm glad I was exposed to this poem in middle school, because it helped me in high school when the well went dry... the well of the sweet nectar of life.


Baby Come Back
Or I'll bring you back in a laboratory like a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein

The discontinuation of Tropical Sprite Remix was, to me, The Day the Music Died. If you had the privilege of tasting this heavenly concoction, you know exactly what I mean. If you didn't, you were deprived one of life's true masterpieces...

...until now.

Coca-cola (always leading) has developed a fountain machine, called Freestyle, that allows you to thoroughly customize your soda beverage. You've probably seen one in a Qdoba, Five Guys, or some other fast casual restaurant.

Just saying whatever comes into the top of my head... freestylin'

One glorious day, it occurred to me that Sprite is one of the beverages in the Freestyle. That for each beverage in the machine, there are plenty of flavor syrups to mix and match. And that, if the stars aligned perfectly, if God saw fit to pour out a special blessing on a random dude like me, perhaps those flavors could combine their powers to summon forth the Captain Planet of beverages.

On most machines, these are the flavor options for Sprite:

L to R: cherry, orange, vanilla, strawberry, raspberry, grape, peach

I could stretch this into a novella, but that would require inventing a villain hellbent on denying the world of delicious flavor combinations. Too dark. So I'll just cut to the chase...

It was only a matter of time and experimentation until I rediscovered the magic of Tropical Sprite Remix. Here's the formula that will change your life (in the sense that reading it, like any action you take, adds to your cumulative life experience):

Please try this.

A Drink By Any Other Name
Would at least closely resemble the taste of its former self

What is your current favorite soda beverage?
Have you made any fun creations in the Coca-Cola Freestyle?

Jon

Coke and Pepsi

Friends,

For as long as I can remember, I've liked Coke more than Pepsi.  In addition, I've liked Cherry Coke more than "Wild" Cherry Pepsi, Vanilla Coke more than Pepsi Vanilla, and, most important to my life recently, Coke Zero more than Pepsi Max. [Note: I cannot and will not compare Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, because they both taste so awful to me.]

I could just leave it at that and call it a day.  But, as per a strange part of the human condition, I'm not satisfied merely stating my opinion; I want to prove it to be objectively true, whether by science, mathematics, or somehow getting every human being to adopt the same opinion.

And so, I hereby plant my flag that in every way, Coke is better than Pepsi.


Coke vs. Pepsi: the definitive comparison
If the chart I threw together on Microsoft Paint doesn't convince you, nothing will

Growing up, I appreciated not only the taste of Coke products, but the perceived creativity and trail-blazing of the whole Coke product line.  Seriously, when I was a teen, I seemed to notice that Coke would release a product, then Pepsi would soon roll out a rival version of that same product.  This happened often enough that I began to view Coca-Cola as a visionary and brilliant company and Pepsi-Cola as a reactionary, copycat group of hacks.

Recently, as I pondered the superiority of Coke, I wondered if this pattern were real or just the illusory perception of a guy who cares too much about cola.  So, I went to the one source that we all know to be unfailingly true (not to mention an old friend of this blog)-- Wikipedia.

Here are my findings:

[Note: It may seem unfair for me to credit Coke with the victory in diet colas based on TaB. The Diet Pepsi Wikipedia page clearly doesn't.  But I think it makes perfect sense, as the existence and early popularity of TaB -- a Coca-Cola product -- appears to be the sole reason that Diet Coke wasn't produced until the 80s.]



Obviously, a clear and decisive victory for the guys in red.  But you might be wondering if I've played some sort of statistics/chart trick on you.  Maybe I've only included those products that would favor Coke?

But alas, if you look at the column on the left, you'll see I've selected the major cola developments.  Sure, I could have thrown in crazy stuff like Pepsi Clear or Coca-Cola BlaK, but those didn't last and thus don't represent successful steps forward.  The one important type absent from the chart is the "alternative recipe zero-calorie version marketed specifically to males", i.e. Coke Zero and Pepsi Max.  This was just way too difficult to sort out, as Zero predates Max, but Pepsi used to have a completely different ginseng-infused product called "Diet Pepsi Max" and also Pepsi One, which, while featuring different sweeteners and no male-specific marketing, was an alternative diet drink.

So, in the most important areas of cola innovation, Coca-Cola has five times led the way, to Pepsi's one.  But look at it this way, Pepsi fans-- you guys pioneered caffeine-free cola! You know, that drink that's perfect for when you want a non-alcoholic calorie-rich carbonated beverage but still want to be able to fall asleep soon.

Rock-and-roller Cola Wars

To quote Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"

Everyone please chime in:

Do you drink pop? ("Soda", for those of you who grew up with a bleak and miserable childhood.)

If so, what's your cola of choice?

Jon