A Dude's Guide to Matchmaking

Friends,

If there's one thing I know about really liking something, it's that if "you really like it, you want more." But if I know a second thing about liking something, it's this: when you really like something, you want other people to know about it, experience it, and like it too.

This may explain why the moment I began seriously dating my now-wife Ashley, I also began a hell-bent campaign to find soulmates for every single person I knew. Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but the point remains that I've made myself available as a matchmaker for anyone who wants one.

Since I don't know which one of my four readers is reading this right now, I can say this: of course, I don't know how you feel about matchmaking. You may be a big fan who has personally taken part in, or even benefited from, the craft. Perhaps you think people like me should just stay out of other people's lives and mind our own business.

Don't worry, I'm not writing to defend the practice, and what follows should be mostly free from controversy. These are just my observations about setting people up, and whether you're the matcher or the matchee, I hope there will be something here for you...


The Art of the Match
Keep these in mind if you're following the life strategy of "the opposite of Tangent Space(s)'s advice"


1. Match-making is really hard
For two people to form a lasting, loving, successful bond, so many things need to go right. There have to be meaningful attractions and commonalities on physical, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional levels. To think that "that one friend of yours" will be an ideal match for your coworker's sibling is sort of insane. I'm not saying you should shy away from making the connection, but let's all lose the habit of saying things like, "She's perfect for you!"

2. Match-making is extra weird in today's world of pseudo-dating
I'm no expert on modern romance, but I think we're all familiar with the trends. Directness and phone calls are out, while texting and emojis are in. There may be some pros to this movement, but one con is that ambiguity seems to be at an all-time high. It's hard to say if someone is truly interested or if there will be another date. Thus, you get to share in this tension when you are a third party who knows and remains friends with both people.

3. If you want to bring people together, just write a blog
And here the shrewd reader will discern that I'm pulling a bait-and-switch of sorts. You see, for some time I've needed to exult in the following two Tangent Space(s) accomplishments, and this post is the perfect place to do it...

a. My marriage
If you haven't heard this incredible story (yeah, I'm referring to the story of me and my wife as "incredible"), I'll gladly tell you the whole thing sometime. But for our current purposes, you just need to know that this blog was instrumental in my meeting Ashley. We first "met" on another person's blog, at which point Ashley came here and read TS(s); according to her, she immediately knew that we were meant to be together. 

This isn't match-making in the typical sense, of course, since I was part of the match. But don't worry, a Tangent has successfully made another match as well...

b. Scott's marriage
I have a Minnesotan friend named Scott. To make a long story short, I once wrote a series of posts (backed by some impressive faux research) urging people to rise above the completely meaningless "Happy birthday!" Facebook posts and to take five seconds to personalize such posts. Scott--who himself credits my blog posts as his motivation--personalized a Facebook birthday post on a woman's wall, and that very personalization led to their first date. They're now married.

[Here is the post that originally inspired Scott, and here's his telling of the story (scroll down to his comment).]


If your mind isn't blown, you have some sort of robotic circuitry where your human, feeling brain is supposed to be. For real though, you never know the impact a small action is going to have on another person's (or your own) life. Writing a blog could lead you to your future wife. Offering to the public a crucially important, timely, sage, well-articulated piece of advice about social media posts could lead a distant friend to marry a Brazilian woman.



Match-Making and You
...and your perfect soulmate

Have you done any match-making? How'd it go?

Have your friends made a match for you?


Jon