Fun fact: I've never had to interview for a job. I've had jobs -- real ones with health insurance and above-the-table payments -- but not one that's required an interview. Several positions were just crappy and didn't even merit an interview. Here's how my "real jobs" have started:
Teaching assistant: came with my grad school acceptance
Test-prep teacher: had to "audition" (literally), but not interview
College ministry: had to apply, but not interview
And so, I've been blessedly spared from sharing about a time I had to overcome adversity or my best experience of working with a group or a time when things didn't go as planned and I had to improvise.
I've also never conducted a job interview for others. Why, then, have I logged hours and hours in interviews? Why have I heard about valuable experience, office conflicts, career goals, skill sets, and blah blah blah blah blah?? It's simple, really...
I spend time at Panera.
Public Job [Inter/Re]views
It's up there with public breastfeeding
I've probably just read too much science fiction, but I'm starting to think Panera is somehow cosmically significant. Metaphysically unique. Something about the place serves as a beacon, irresistibly drawing in every officeless job interview in a 5-mile radius.
Like I said, too much science fiction.
But the fact remains that almost every time I'm in a Panera, a job interview (by an employer other than Panera) is taking place at the table next to me.
I mean, I get the draw of the place in general. A clean atmosphere, free internet, bread bowls, refills on delicious iced tea and even iced coffee... that's why I do my work there so often. But there's a big difference between my silent computer work and a job interview. Why are public interviews so inappropriate?
1. It's distracting for the patrons
When people go out to eat, they like to be able to enjoy food and conversation with minimal distraction. Sure, there will be people seated at the adjacent table, but you simply ignore them and go on. But when that nearby conversation is with people in suits asking each other about a time they showed flexibility in the face of unexpected change, it's hard not to get drawn in to hear the answer or watch the interviewee sweat bullets.
2. It must be jarring for the interviewee
Again, I've never done this whole thing, but I can only assume that when one prepares for an interview, shis focus is on eye contact and potential questions/answers. This preparation assumes a quiet, private setting; it probably doesn't factor in crying babies and Billy Joel songs.
But most of all...
3. It's awkward!!!
See below.
I was recently in Caribou, which for a while I'll be calling 'the new Panera', and one foot to my left there occurred a college intern's job review. My coworker Sara and I were silently working on individual things, when the internship coordinator to my left asked the intern a question...
*****
Boss: What's something you're excited about right now in the program?
Intern: Do you mean a project we're working on, or my own professional development?
Boss: Either one.
Intern: Um... ... hmm... ... uh... ... wow... give me a second... ... ...
I glanced up at Sara, needing to know if I was alone in this dark, hostile world of silence, unanswered questions, and sinking feelings in my stomach. Her eyes were already fixed on mine, a look of vacant, hopeless terror on her face.
Intern: ... sorry... ... ... ... I... ...I don't have an answer.
Sara's draw jopped and a confused whimper escaped her. I lost my grip on my pencil. It fell to the table as the world slowly faded from my mind, being replaced by that all-encompassing awkwardness.
*****
Sara and I survived that horrific encounter, but every day friendly, innocent patrons are attacked by similar bombs of awkward. This needs to stop. I don't have a great solution. I know these internship programs, non-profit organizations, and swimming pools don't have offices in which to interview applicants. But I think if you want to interview someone in person, it's your responsibility to either find a private place or, to return to my new favorite hashtag,
GET AN OFFICE!
Now I interview you
I think this is private enough?
Have you ever been interviewed in public?
Have you sat in on one of these Panera interviews?
Describe a time you had to overcome a workplace blah blah blah freaking blah...
Jon
I (un)fortunately haven't had to witness or partake in any public job interviews so I can't speak on about them directly. I personally don't think I would ever agree to attend one either, it's already enough hassle preparing to answer their seemingly witty and tricky questions, let alone answer them with an audience present. I'm sorry you have to deal with these on such a regular occurrence, but I think I would get a lot of enjoyment out of watching them.
ReplyDeleteOn interviews themselves, I'd really like to know who the first employer was to come up with these ridiculous questions, did they think they were being clever in unnerving people on the spot? My favorite question is the all popular "What is your greatest weakness"... um well I'm susceptible to poisons and bullets, so there's that. Then again I find it humorous when interviewees think they outsmarted the employer when they cleverly turned their weakness into a strength. I persoanlly don't believe that employers care about "What your dream job is", all they care about is that you possess required skills, can think on your feet, and that you aren't a social troglodyte.
I'm 4 for 4 on in-person interviews, 2 for 2 on phone interviews, and 1 for 1 on Skype interviews... I wonder if I can put that on my resume.
Better yet, you could use it in a future interview (should you have any more)!
Delete"Describe your greatest strength."
"Whenever I interview for a job, I get it."
I spent most of today on a MegaBus. During the trip, the young woman sitting behind me received a phone call from a potential employer looking to interview her over the phone. The woman tried to tell the caller that now was not a good time, with her being on a bus and all, but the caller insisted that this was her only free time. So, I got to spend some time in your shoes, Jon. However, she seemed to do a good job with the interview, especially considering it was unexpected (which I don't quite get why this wouldn't have been scheduled) and she was on a bus.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I greatly appreciate the voice you gave to my reactions and have finally stopped laughing when I think back to this horrific afternoon. At first I thought you sounded dramatic, but if I really think about my feelings of wanting to die or shout an answer for her, it's spot on! Glad I made the cut for the story
ReplyDeleteSecond, you have completely persuaded me to see the terribleness of these public interviews. While I thought of similar situations, like the way we meet in coffee places with students for our job, it almost felt equally awkward. But, I've decided that it's not, and the interview deal is way worse. I get distracted just holding a normal conversation in Caribou; I can't imagine how hard it would be to focus on answering stupid trick interview questions! Given the power dynamics and the already assumed pressure of an interview, it's so much worse than meeting at a coffee shop for literally any other reason.
And third, I regrettably have been subject to a Panera interview. It was for a summer job and the woman thought she was doing me a favor by meeting me on campus vs. me driving 15 minutes to her office. This may nullify all of my above argument, or I'm just a great interviewee, but it wasn't that awkward. If I remember correctly, we sat in a pretty secluded corner and it was much more conversational than her asking specific questions and recording my responses. That is SO different than the Caribou interview thingy we heard though, with 87 pages of questions that totally stumped the poor girl, so again, these should never exist in public.
Haha I told some people today about another classic excerpt from that fateful afternoon. I'm not sure if you heard this one because you wisely put in earbuds:
DeleteBoss: [Some question about personal development.]
Intern: Look, I'm open to receiving feedback from my co-workers when it comes to PROFESSIONAL development, but with all due respect, I really don't think it's their place to comment on my PERSONAL development. That's my own business.
Boss: Hmm... well would you agree that conducting business with integrity is an area of professional development?
Intern: Yes.
Boss: And would you agree that treating coworkers respectfully is a matter of professional development?
Intern: Yeah, I realize there's some overlap... but still...