11.08.2010

Can't read my, can't read my, can't read my poker face

I'm going to a bachelor party this weekend, and we're going to be playing Texas Hold 'Em.  If you've never played this game,
  1. I recommend it.
  2. What hole have you been living in for the last 8 years?
Anyway, in anticipation of losing money, my mind has begun to toss around some phrases from the game as I go about everyday tasks and conversations.  It got me to thinking that Texas Hold 'Em has a lot of great phrases that can carry over into non-poker life.  Here are some of the most prominent/cool examples:


Already used outside poker

All in
Meaning in poker:  Having put all one's chips into the pot for the current round.
Meaning outside poker:  Having put all one's hope or trust into something.
Examples
(in football)
The Bengals went all in on that blitz, allowing Mike Wallace to burn the single coverage deep.
(in dating)
My heart was broken because I was all in on that relationship.

Bad beat
Meaning in poker:  When a player has bet well, but loses the hand anyway, often because the river card is one of the very few cards that would cause the opponent to win.
Meaning outside poker:  When a person does something well, but loses anyway due to an unlikely scenario playing out that causes the defeat.
  • [Tangent-within-a-tangent: Game Theory is a branch of mathematics that I know very little about, but it's so fascinating that I talk a lot about it anyway.  One of the central statements of this field is that games with "perfect knowledge" always have a winning strategy (or, if a tie is possible, a non-losing strategy).  Perfect knowledge means that each player can see all the factors influencing the game (pieces, cards, dice rolls, etc.); so in chess, Connect Four, and tic-tac-toe, players have perfect knowledge, but in Stratego, Risk, poker, and Monopoly, players do not.  Using our poker terminology, this statement could be rephrased to "Games with perfect knowledge do not have bad beats."  This is probably clear if you've been able to follow this embedded tangent; if the game features a winning strategy, you can't blame a "bad beat" for your loss... just your inferior strategy.]
Examples
(football)
We won the field position battle and got into position for a game-winning field goal when a torrential downpour suddenly overtook the field.  What a bad beat.
(dating)
Despite all my charm, humor, and rugged good looks, and the fact that what Juliet and I shared was real and beautiful, it turned out to be a bad beat as Romeo opened up a bottle of Love Potion Number 9.


Ready to crack into the real world

Pay to see the flop
Meaning in poker:  To match the bet of the player in the "big blind" seat in order to be a part of the hand.
Meaning outside poker:  To satisfy one's curiosity by paying some price to be a part of something that's about to happen.
Examples:
(football)
"Yeah, so why did the Lions draft 3 WRs in the first round in a 4-year span?"  "Great question.  They always pay to see the flop."
(futility)
After being badgered so long by my neighbor to go out with her single female friend, I finally paid to see the flop and gave her a call.


I'm sure I've forgotten some great ones, since the game seems to be filled with awesome jargon.  Let me know your ideas!

Jon



7 comments:

  1. I love how all of your non-poker uses are related to dating/relationships.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dude, nice selective reading! Each term features one football use and one dating use. I didn't initially plan that, but after the second one I realized I had done it for both, so I did it for the last one too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm guessing that the title was inspired by our Glee sing-a-long.

    ReplyDelete
  4. so what i'm hearing is there are three things that relate to one another in life: poker, football, and dating.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You went out with our neighbor's friend? I didn't even know you talked to our neighbors... you just SO FULL of surprises Jon!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Dwayne: Your funny little comment actually got me thinking. They ARE all related, because they all involve strategy. Bad beats, going all in, and seeing the flop (i.e., giving into curiosity) are pretty innate to any activity in which you strategize (and, as I mentioned above, in which there is some uncertainty involved).

    @Erin: The theme of the post has been on my mind for a while. The title of the post was definitely a product of our... Glee listening...

    @Adam: All examples above are purely hypothetical. You know I don't talk to our neighbors.

    @Seidler: Yeah, at this point, now that I've written "@Seidler", everyone is probably thinking, "but Seidler hasn't commented." Exactly. He hasn't. Seidler, comment. [Note: I talked to him on the phone and he had some good ideas for more phrases.]

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, thanks for the introduction there, Jonny.

    The best one I could think of was "stealing the pot" or "trying to buy the pot."

    In poker, it means bluffing or betting a large amount of chips in a hand, only to try to intimidate the others players left in the hand into folding.

    In real life, it means a)robbing or b)soliciting a drug dealer for marijuana.

    Examples
    (in football)
    "Former WVU football player Pac-Man Jones was recently arrested for the seventh time for trying to steal the pot at a local strip club."

    (in dating)
    "So, my girlfriend and I broke up." "Why, dude?" "Cause I found out she's been buying the pot from that shady guy on the corner for a while." "Dude, sucky." "Yeah"

    You could also use the names of some of the hands - full house, straight flush, etc. for many things.

    And, Jon, I think I am going to start using "steal the deal" as a replacement for "swooping in."

    That's all I've got.

    ReplyDelete