But HOW is it going?!?

Friends,

It's getting old, how I keep taking a few months off from blogging only to come crawling back to you begging for your forgiveness, comments, and blog ideas. And so instead of groveling and pleading for those three things (but mainly the last two, if you wanted to know), I'm just going to forge ahead. 

And forging ahead, at the moment, is looking pretty exciting. I've accumulated some potential blog topics, and I'm ready to get back to more frequent Tangential adventures. And I should have plenty to write about, as I'm currently planning my wedding (which is, of course, a nicer-sounding way of saying that my fiancee is planning my wedding). I'll keep you posted soon on whether we plan to commit any of the cardinal sins of lame weddings: parts one two three.

But after such a long break, I think I need to ease back into the blogosphere. So I hope you'll join me as I inspect one of the least helpful phrases ever spoken by human beings since the dawn of verbal communication.


Answer my question!!!
With information that wasn't already implied by the existence of my question, punk

We often speak in pleasantries. "Small talk". I've gone on record that I don't really like this practice to begin with. But let's lay that argument aside. Small talk is a part of life. And occasionally, it's an annoying and baffling part of that life.

One of the most common questions when getting into small talk gear is, "How's it going?" While in this pure form the question is undeniably vapid (sorry, I forgot I was getting off that soapbox), the phrasing is often used for very real moments of inquiry:

How's the new job going?
How's it going living with your in-laws?
How's the crusade against "How's it going?" going?

These are real questions meant to initiate segments of conversation. But one common phrase, somehow only becoming more popular by the minute, stops these blossoming conversations dead in their tracks. In case you haven't Sherlocked it yet, I'm talking about

"Oh, it's going..."

Yeah, I know it's going. That's why I asked how it's going. Like, when you know there's something, but you want to know more about that thing, so you ask a question about it... that's not some secret way of asking if the thing exists.

How was the movie last night?
Oh, it was a movie...

What do you think of DiCarlo's pizza?
Oh, DiCarlo's has pizza...

What time is the baseball game?
Oh, the baseball game occurs at a time...

This is a total non-answer. Yeah yeah, I'll make a few concessions:

• Usually there's a widening of the eyes and a sad nod of the head accompanying this verbal waste of time. This, I think, is meant to imply that the thing in question is progressing in an intense or cumbersome way. But I'm not a mind-reader, people.
• Sometimes people do follow it up with real information. "Oh, it's going... my mother-in-law keeps making pointless small talk with me, so I try to spend a lot of time at the new job or eating DiCarlo's pizza during baseball games." But sometimes people don't even do this; they seriously just say that it's going. And even when they do elaborate, it makes the opening phrase pointless. It becomes just an annoying filler akin to "It is what it is" or "Can I ask you a question?"

"Tell me how you really feel."

Not sure if I stressed this enough: comments and blog ideas

Have you committed the grave error of saying "Oh, it's going..."?

Which everyday phrases bother you?

From an ESL website: "People who ask this phrase are usually trying to start a conversation."

Pet Peeves: Pretentious Pronunciations

Friends,

Most words in our beloved language have but one pronunciation. Most words are simple and straightforward enough-- solid, sturdy words like "solid" and "sturdy". But a few words have gone rogue and, whether from British/American differences or miscellaneous pretension-baggery, feature an alternate pronunciation. I'm not concerned with words that have 2 (more or less) equal options, like caramel or garage. What really grinds my gears are words with one normal, accepted, perfect pronunciation and one that is steeped in pretense, condescension, and superiority... and, more specifically, the people who choose the latter.

As with any human endeavor, I enter this one with some level of hypocrisy. When faced with a choice between a common word whose meaning I know and a rarer one whose meaning is only partially clear to me, I sometimes go with the schmancy one. But I feel that my pretension is a little more justifiable-- I'm trying to expand my (and my listeners') vocabulary horizons. The person who chooses an alternate pronunciation, though, broadens only my frown.


Pretentious Pocket Dictionary
That's not to say anyone's pocket is foppish


foyer [foi-EY]
noun

1. an entrance hall, especially one in which superior activities take place: Pray join me in the foi-EY for some scones and literary criticism.

mature [ma-TORE]
adjective

1. exhibiting more development, especially intellectually, than others: Don't I sound more ma-TORE than you?

schedule [SHEJ-oo-uhl]
noun

1. a series of things, especially intellectually superior ones, to be done: Sorry, my SHEJ-oo-uhl is full of things like monocle-wearing.

the (x+1)th century [instead of "the x hundreds"]
phrase

1. the years x-hundred to x-hundred-and-99, especially the superior events from those years: During the... (pause to convert "1200s" to a century)... 13th century... (pause for listener to convert "13th century" to hundreds)... there was a dramatic rise in the eating of crumpets.

Okay, it's a short dictionary
At least it will fit in your ornate pocket

What other words belong in the PPD?
What pronunciation really grinds your gears?

Jon

Wikipedia: the mother of all tangents

As much as I like to write, I like to write for me (and you), not "the man."  So when I was in college, I (somewhat subconsciously) scheduled classes that would force me to write as few papers as possible.  This was made easier by the facts that I was a math major and that WVU gave me like 400 hours of credit for AP tests in fields that would have made me write a lot of papers.

But when, O reader, I was forced to write a paper that required even the slightest amount of research, the first thing I did was consult with wikipedia.  You might think this was shoddy scholarship, maybe even an affront to educators everywhere.  I would defend myself with how that was only the first step in a lengthy, rigorous research process, but A. that's outside the scope of this blog entry, and B. I'm not sure it's true.

I mention all this merely to say that I've had plenty of experience reading wikipedia.  And not just for "fun."  As I was recently using the site (more on that in a second), I realized it is the greatest generator of tangents of all time.  And since tangents are sort of our business here, I decided this blog needed to pay homage to the free online encyclopedia.

An example of wikipedia's awe-inspiring tangent production

Recently Kmech -- a friend of mine and faithful reader of Tangent Space(s) -- suggested I write something interesting about language and/or words (still working on it).  My first thought was that I could write about "auto-antonyms"; an auto-antonym "is a word with multiple meanings, one of which is defined as the reverse of one of its other meanings."  This deals with words, and I'll be darned if it's not riveting.

So I went to the wikipedia page (feel free to follow along if you like).  And look how many tangents wikipedia presented me with, primarily via links to other wikipedia pages:

1. First of all, right off the bat, I'm told that auto-antonym is just one of many items on a wikipedia page called "English words with uncommon properties."  Gotta go there.
2. Secondly, while this doesn't give an actual tangential link to follow, I'm given a list of other names for auto-antonym.  Here it is: autantonym, contranym, contronym, antagonym, Janus word, self-antonym, and enantiodrome.  How can I not ponder how there could be so many names for the same thing?
3. The last name there, enantiodrome, should not be confused with a link they provide to me -- enantiodromia, which is "the Jungian principle of equilibrium."  If you are on that page and don't click that link, you lack basic human curiosity.
4. Then, in what is a relatively short article on this word type, there are over 35 links to other wikipedia articles.  Over 35!  And I don't know who can pass up such obvious clicks as "crossbows", "co-opetition", and "Queen Ann."
5. Tangent-within-a-tangent, but still a number on this list: One of the 35+ links is for "neologism."  It's a term for a word that is new and in the process of being added to common use in a language.  When I saw it, it rang a bell, but I couldn't remember why.  And then it came to me: wikipedia uses this word all the time.  As proof of this, I submit to you the webcomic xkcd.com making fun of wikipedia.

What's my point?  Well, I couldn't possibly focus on auto-antonyms when Queen Ann is shooting crossbows at me and there are huge words like enantiodromia.  Tangent overload.


Wikipedia and you

I offer a suggestion and a question(s):

• If you're ever in the mood for a tangent and I haven't updated this blog since your last read, head over to the free online encyclopedia and travel down whatever rabbit holes catch your attention.
• What has been your experience with wikipedia?  Have you ever used it for school?

Jon

Christian-ese 101

There are many benefits to being part of a subculture.  I won't take the time to list them.  But I will draw your attention to one: lingo.  I of course intend that to mean "jargon," not the game show hosted by Chuck Woolery (though if your subculture allows you to guess 5-letter words for money, I want in on that).

Certain words and phrases are only used, or only used to mean a certain thing, in specific groups of people.  This not only allows for precise and specified communication, but it opens the door for a plethora of inside jokes.  And blog posts.

So, for today's tangent, we explore some of the lingo of American Christianity, circa 1990-2010.  Here are some of the ones I most like to make fun of:

to bathe [something] in prayer
-verb
1. to pray earnestly and often for something (usually a person, place, or event)
The concert starts at 8:00, but please show up at 7:15; we really just want to bathe the whole night in prayer.
[Notes: People, places, and events must be inherently stained by sin, but a good dose of prayer can scrub that away.  It takes about 45 minutes to prayer-bathe a night.]

traveling mercies
-noun
1. that divine act of God by which He graciously allows someone to be safely transported somewhere else
2. an expedient way to summarize a request for that divine act
Do you have any prayer requests?
Just traveling mercies for this weekend as we go to Indianapolis.
[Notes: I suppose there's nothing wrong with this phrase, per se.  It does seem to nicely acknowledge God's sovereignty.  But if you say it, you better be at least 45 years old and wearing a fanny pack.]

to lead [someone] to the throne
-verb
1. to help someone experience and worship God (typically through musical worship)
Let's thank Karen again for leading us in worship.  She really does a great job of leading us to the throne, doesn't she?
[Notes: Many other people help us experience and worship God through teaching, preaching, prayer, and conversation, but only those with keyboards or guitars are given keys to the throne room.]

to covet [someone's] prayers
-verb
1. to eagerly desire that someone pray for you
(Body of letter)
I covet your prayers.
In Christ,
Jon
[Notes: This one, like many of these, has fallen largely into disuse.  What a shame!  Isn't it hilarious?  We take a word with a strongly negative spiritual connotation -- covet -- and use it to express the innocent, pure desire for people to pray for us.  How about "Let's lust after righteousness," or "My small group last night was spiritually debaucherous."]

Apart from the general subculture that is American Christianity, each church is its own sub-subculture.  They not only inherit the lingo above (and much more), but they inevitably create their own.  Here are a few of my favorites from my church (which I love, for the record):

lean in / lean into
-verb
1. to attempt to meditate on or experience a particular truth
We just heard Pastor X talk about joy.  Right now we really want you to lean into that.

create a space / create some space
-verb
1. to intentionally set apart a time for some purpose (almost always leaning into something)
We just heard Pastor Y talk about God's forgiveness.  Right now we really want to create some space for you to lean into that.

posture
-noun
1. an attitude of the heart
2. a physical position that reflects and communicates that attitude
We just heard Pastor Z talk about surrender.  Right now we really want to create some space for you to lean into that.  Sometimes a posture before God can help symbolize that, so if you're comfortable, maybe hold out your hands like this.

Just like a car runs on gasoline and the Serenity is powered by something called a radion accelerator core, my desire and energy to blog is powered by your interaction.  So:

What classic Christian lingo have I forgotten?

What unique phrases does your church use?

Do you have any fun jargon from your job?

Jon