Fun fact: I've never had to interview for a job. I've had jobs -- real ones with health insurance and above-the-table payments -- but not one that's required an interview. Several positions were just crappy and didn't even merit an interview. Here's how my "real jobs" have started:
Teaching assistant: came with my grad school acceptance
Test-prep teacher: had to "audition" (literally), but not interview
College ministry: had to apply, but not interview
And so, I've been blessedly spared from sharing about a time I had to overcome adversity or my best experience of working with a group or a time when things didn't go as planned and I had to improvise.
I've also never conducted a job interview for others. Why, then, have I logged hours and hours in interviews? Why have I heard about valuable experience, office conflicts, career goals, skill sets, and blah blah blah blah blah?? It's simple, really...
I spend time at Panera.
Public Job [Inter/Re]views
It's up there with public breastfeeding
I've probably just read too much science fiction, but I'm starting to think Panera is somehow cosmically significant. Metaphysically unique. Something about the place serves as a beacon, irresistibly drawing in every officeless job interview in a 5-mile radius.
Like I said, too much science fiction.
But the fact remains that almost every time I'm in a Panera, a job interview (by an employer other than Panera) is taking place at the table next to me.
I mean, I get the draw of the place in general. A clean atmosphere, free internet, bread bowls, refills on delicious iced tea and even iced coffee... that's why I do my work there so often. But there's a big difference between my silent computer work and a job interview. Why are public interviews so inappropriate?
1. It's distracting for the patrons
When people go out to eat, they like to be able to enjoy food and conversation with minimal distraction. Sure, there will be people seated at the adjacent table, but you simply ignore them and go on. But when that nearby conversation is with people in suits asking each other about a time they showed flexibility in the face of unexpected change, it's hard not to get drawn in to hear the answer or watch the interviewee sweat bullets.
2. It must be jarring for the interviewee
Again, I've never done this whole thing, but I can only assume that when one prepares for an interview, shis focus is on eye contact and potential questions/answers. This preparation assumes a quiet, private setting; it probably doesn't factor in crying babies and Billy Joel songs.
But most of all...
3. It's awkward!!!
See below.
I was recently in Caribou, which for a while I'll be calling 'the new Panera', and one foot to my left there occurred a college intern's job review. My coworker Sara and I were silently working on individual things, when the internship coordinator to my left asked the intern a question...
*****
Boss: What's something you're excited about right now in the program?
Intern: Do you mean a project we're working on, or my own professional development?
Boss: Either one.
Intern: Um... ... hmm... ... uh... ... wow... give me a second... ... ...
I glanced up at Sara, needing to know if I was alone in this dark, hostile world of silence, unanswered questions, and sinking feelings in my stomach. Her eyes were already fixed on mine, a look of vacant, hopeless terror on her face.
Intern: ... sorry... ... ... ... I... ...I don't have an answer.
Sara's draw jopped and a confused whimper escaped her. I lost my grip on my pencil. It fell to the table as the world slowly faded from my mind, being replaced by that all-encompassing awkwardness.
*****
Sara and I survived that horrific encounter, but every day friendly, innocent patrons are attacked by similar bombs of awkward. This needs to stop. I don't have a great solution. I know these internship programs, non-profit organizations, and swimming pools don't have offices in which to interview applicants. But I think if you want to interview someone in person, it's your responsibility to either find a private place or, to return to my new favorite hashtag,
GET AN OFFICE!
Now I interview you
I think this is private enough?
Have you ever been interviewed in public?
Have you sat in on one of these Panera interviews?
Describe a time you had to overcome a workplace blah blah blah freaking blah...
Jon
