I know most people love weddings. I don't want this blog series to in any way crush those people's dreams. Insofar as weddings celebrate marriage, I affirm them. But to make the world a better place in the future, I feel compelled to point out those aspects of some weddings that make them terrible.
As for my qualification to critique weddings, I have none. I'm just a guy with some opinions. But I have been to tons of weddings (and been a groomsman in many of them), so my opinions have at least been forged by repetition and experience.
Pet Peeve #1 -- Forcing me to go alone
This one doesn't involve garters
Weddings were simpler at the innocent age of 20. I was surrounded at all times by a mob of other fun-loving 20-year-olds, so weddings were teeming with peers who were having fun, talking, dancing, and being single.
Fast forward 6 years, and things are different. Weddings are now a place where a bunch of my peers, all in married couple pairs, get together to tell the new bride and groom, "Welcome to the club!" One or two mid-to-late-20s unmarried abominations are allowed in to eat the scraps from the table.
I hope it's obvious that I'm joking for effect, but the point remains -- I'm now in the minority as a single person, and that is relevant when it comes to attending an event that focuses solely on romance/love/marriage.
Not to make things too depressing, but the internal voice during weddings that I attend alone has shifted from
"I'm excited to get married someday!!"
to
"I hope to get married someday."
to
"Am I going to get married?! I freaking better get married!! Oh my gosh, what if I never get married?!!"
And yet, all this could be avoided so simply. Adding literally two characters to the RSVP card can redeem the entire event...
Having a date at the wedding makes all the difference. It means having someone to drive with to and from the wedding. Someone to talk to during the unbearably long wait before the reception. Someone to dance with during the 3 otherwise painfully awkward slow songs.
I realize the decision to deny dates is a financial one. I don't have a solution outside of investing in a money tree. But I will say that it's not as if you have to offer every single person a +1. If there's a huge community of people coming who all know each other, the singletons should be fine. But if someone on the invite list won't know anyone, or will probably only know married people, it's a different story.
Other people's opinions
Specifically, my friend's and yours
One of my friends, in a text that helped inspire this post, vented, "I'd rather not get an invite than get a solo one... People who do that have never gone stag to a wedding."
What do you think about going solo to a wedding? Will/have you forced others to go dateless?
Jon
